What is love anyway?? What are dreams?? I'll tell you my opinions on both or one...but both because I'm a talker.
Dreams are not solid or concrete evidence of anything other than little collages that your mind puts togther while your asleep. They don't mean anything. When someone shares them to me, they're just drawing a pretty picture that their mind hinted at. I think people who follow these images are totally foolish. Doing that will get you nowhere. Not the "dreams" that you yourself put together. That's not that foolish, but they aren't exactly dreams. More like goals, or something else to that effect.
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I've seen people who have been together for a really long time and it makes me wonder if it's real or not. Like, maybe they think that it's cool to have long term relationships or something. I really don't know. Maybe they really do love each other, or maybe not. I can't say much because I've never had any sort of relationship--EVER. So, I can't be the one to say something like, "Long term relationships aren't real. Just fantasy."
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Everyone tells me that "my time will come" when I get someone to talk to on the phone, or on a date...or what have you. I would very much like it to be a boy. Actually, it has to be a boy because I don't swing that way. What I have to wonder is that what if it's not here--and not now? What if he's in Kansas or something? Then what am I doing here? Well--to tell you the truth, I think right now I'm just exsisting. No reason really, just here for SOMETHING...no one knows yet. If God wants me to be alone all my life I'd like for him to let me know so that I can prepare for it. Not in any drastic way, but in enough time for me to absorb and deal with it. I'm so sick of looking but not finding. I've looked into almost everything but nothings fits. I'm tired and bored of this place and I want to leave. But I'm scared that what I'm looking for is really here and I'll be leaving it to look for it somewhere else. I know that sounds funny but just bear with me. I want to leave because I don't think who I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life is here, but somewhere else. But I'm kind of scared to leave because he might be here somewhere. And then I'd be leaving him for something totally fantastic. Not like "wow that's fantastic!" but the other way. The way that means it couldn't happen. I don't know what to do...I'm not asking your advice or anything. I'll figure it out sooner or later.
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When you tell someone you like them, you're expecting something back. No matter what you think or fool yourself into believing, you'll expect something. Like, If I told someone I liked them then I would want a reaction. Regardless of what was said or done, I would want reaction. I'm not exactly expecting a date or boyfriend out of it. But anyways, I don't like telling people anymore, because last time I did it I dwelled on it for the longest time and then when he didn't like me back I was disappointed. So I could say that I was expecting him to like me back, and when he didn't, I got all depressed. So...no matter what you say or think when you tell someone that you like them, you're expecting something back. SO just think about the pressure you're putting on someone when you tell them. Would you like that?
